Paul's Question of the Day

(Q)  How important is one's intelligence when you are seeking a mate?  By mate I mean a  potential spouse or a lover. Does intelligence even enter into the equation for you?

Comments

[Winston]

Extremely important, right up there with character, physical beauty, common interests, and personality. For spousing that is...

Back in the day when I was chasing one night stands, it was boobs...

[west_rhino]

At the risk of incurring a stoning...

It did enter the equation (met my bride at a Mensa test, no brag, just fact) and, if you're looking for a Proverbs 31 bride, should lead the list with wisdom.

Paul, if they aren't smart enough to recognize what a prize you are, I don't know that you ought to prove it.

Then again, you must be wise enough to exercise your modesty and honesty and not be threatened by her intelligence. q.v. the oldie "Hey Ninteen" by Steely Dan, regards some incompatabilities. If she's into comparing translations of Chekov and you're focused on the Chicago Bears, at least be willing to read Cliff's Notes on Three Sisters and Cherry Orchard. In latching onto a spouse, at least as a sacrament of the church, the two shall be as one and you are promising before God Almighty, til death shall you part.

Hope that dosne't scare you off matrimony.

[GreatScott]

Being able to have an intelligent conversation with my wife about something we disagree about and having her convince me that her opinion's right (or vice versa) is really cool.

Always surround yourself with smart people.

[Rain]

At the risk of sounding shallow, it's not high on my list. I like people who are smart enough in that not dummies, but I far more value someone who has commonsense than high IQ-- they don't necessarily go together. I also like people who are interested in many things which can be a sign of intelligence. Maybe all of this is because I don't have an exceedingly high IQ myself :)

[R]

Sadly, I think I'm usually the dumb one. I am good at memorizing hand signals. If you motion for me to shut up because I am saying something retarded, I usually get it within the first 3-5 times you signal.

[halavana]

When tempered with kindness, intelligence is a wonderful thing. Depends what else goes with it.

[Carla]

Intelligence is just one of the many facets of a person that make that person attractive to us. I believe it does aid communicaton, which is so important in a relationship.

[Heather]

Intelligence was critical for me. In several relationships I began to feel embarassed by/for the man I was involved with. When that feeling hit, I knew it was the beginning of the end.

[TJ]

Vital...along with sexy legs.

[rachy]

I have never shagged or been in a relationship with someone who I haven't been intellectually attracted to. For me that comes before physical attraction. I just can't allow myself to get intimate either physically or emotionally with someone if I cannot relate to them on an intellectual level.

I'm simply not physically attracted to unintelligent people. By the way, I do not believe that intelligence requires a university degree or anything like that, the intelligence that I seek is someone who is up-to-date on world affairs and has something interesting and useful to say about what's going on in the world around us.

I've made a few mistakes with faux/wannabe intellectuals, but I've grown up since then and can see through that. I've been single since my spinal cord injury just over three years ago but not because I haven't had opportunities, it's because after such a life changing event my standards have changed and I'm not settling for any less than my intellectual equal, or even intellectual superior for that matter, someone I can learn from. Basically, I'm not really looking for a partner at the moment but if I came across someone who was my intellectual equal or who I could eventually become the intellectual equal of I would definitely be interested.

Give me a pasty European intellectual with glasses over a buffed surfie anyday!

[Peaches]

Rachy, glad you're bringing up some of these old posts, I haven't read many of the old ones either. I identify with what Heather said, been there done that ... and can also identify with your comment about faux/wannabe intellectuals. There seem to be many on the net, sooner or later they reveal themselves, sooner if you speak with them.